Letter from the Chaplain

No one will argue about the difficulties and challenges family members go through during deployment of their Marine/Sailor. All of us need support at one point or another in our life. Nobody is immune. Support is even more imperative for military families especially during deployments. We are constantly being thrown into new and unfamiliar situations and deployments. No matter how much experience we have coping with deployments, we still need all the support we can get.

During a deployment, there are several types of support we need to consider. There is the support we give each other as military family members, the support we give our children, the support we give our Marines/Sailors, and the support we receive from non-military family and friends.

Military family members are in a unique position to understand exactly what other military family members are going through before, during and after a deployment. Now before a deployment, everyone is wrapped up in the cocoon of their own lives. While there are a slew of emotions flying around, family members withdraw into their homes and deal with things as a family, relishing every last moment their Marine/Sailor is home. However, from the moment that bus drives on, family members are, in a sense, on their own. That is why it is so important for family members and/or spouses to band together and support each other. You don’t have to be friends with everyone, but having those few close people will make the ordeal infinitely more bearable. Just as we want people around to help us, we should also do everything in our power to be there for others: take their kids from time to time, run to the store and get them medicine if they’re sick, etc.

Supporting our children can be much trickier. They experience different things at different ages and can go through several emotional stages during one deployment. To help them, look for age-appropriate books, sit and talk with them, look for support groups for children of deployed parents. The Religious Ministry Team (RMT) will be offering United Through Reading (UTR) during our deployment so that married Marines/Sailors can record and mail book-reading to their children. It is amazing how little thing such as reading books can help our children.

Our deployed Marines/Sailors also need our support. Just as they try to put on a brave front, you also have to maintain sanity at home. I am a firm believer in filling your Marine/Sailor on everything that goes on at home. That’s what worked in my marriage. Now, you may not want to talk to your Marine/Sailor frantic, crying and crazy about something that happened. However, through a letter or a mention in a phone call, let them know what is going on, the good, bad and ugly. The key is to remember that all they need from you is to let them know how much you love and miss them and that you can’t wait to see them again. As tough as they are, Marines/Sailors need love. Send care packages by USPS and send letters; they’re so much more fun and personable than an email. During my last MEU deployment, a gourmet hot sauce I got from my wife made my day. I always tell her, “honey, you sure knows how to spice up my life.”

Finally, we all receive support from our non-military family and friends. The important thing to remember about this type of support is that they mean well. Sometimes we just feel like they don’t get it, they don’t understand, and it can get frustrating. They are trying their best to help and make us feel better, and it makes it easier to take the support when you keep that in mind!

Always remember that in a military lifestyle we need to give support as well as make ourselves accept it when it’s offered. It makes everything so much easier to handle! It is my prayer that you will find the needed support in a timely manner. May God bless you and give you strength through this coming deployment.

Louis Lee
Lieutenant, USN
Battalion Chaplain